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Animal Control

Published: June 9, 2024, 7:48 p.m.

The neighborhood has had a problem with feral animals running rampant. I've already called animal control so many times they've blocked my number. So I decided to take matters into my own hands. After much commotion the neighbors convinced me that the animal in question was their cat. So I removed it from the balloon basket I had built and returned it begrudgingly. They seemed quite upset with me even though I've already explained to them everyone makes mistakes.

News Flash

Published: June 6, 2024, 8:39 p.m.

Today was very productive. I managed to watch all 4 seasons of breaking bad back to back. Though I don't think the neighbors like me using their TV.

Breakfast in bed

Published: June 5, 2024, 7:51 p.m.

I love the way birds sound when they're being cooked.

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Words of Wisdom

Published: June 5, 2024, 7:51 p.m.

Forgot the cat in the garage again. It's like my Grandfather said back in that Saigon prison camp in 71'. "If you can't beat'em, join'em."

Like a good neighbor

Published: June 5, 2024, 7:50 p.m.

The police came by and talked to me even though I told them I was busy. They say I'm not allowed to go into my neighbors house anymore even if I have to retrieve my own property. I don't see what the problem is I pay my HOA fees just like anyone else.

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Harsh Truth

Published: June 3, 2024, 5 p.m.

Today I took the trash out on my neighbor's lawn but they decided they wanted to argue about it so I had to go into their house and take back the baking soda I leant them. That's the last funeral gift I'm giving them this year I swear to god... My therapist was right, I have to stop being so nice to people.

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